Putting yourself out there in a room full of strangers can be daunting, but building collaborative research networks is just as valuable as any technical training. Forging long-term, reciprocal relationships will help you and your colleagues to do your jobs better.
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If you are working in the field of relationship science, then it’s safe to say you know the importance of forming and maintaining relationships.  
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Here are a few things you can do when you find yourself at a conference or networking event that will make your experience a little bit more pleasant and a lot more relational.
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First things first

Arrive early on the day with a small specific goal. Try to avoid scary or abstract goals like “I must network.” Instead, aim for something concrete like “I will talk to three new people,” or “I will ask one question in a session.” It’s easier to act on a goal when it’s specific and you’ll also know when you’ve achieved it.  
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Don’t feel like you have to “work the room.” Focus on making genuine connections and having fruitful conversations.  
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Ask questions

Research shows that people who ask more questions in conversations, particularly follow-up questions, are thought of more highly by their conversation partners (Huang et al., 2017). The world is full of interesting people, so get asking. Focus on open questions  that allow people to open up and build on the conversation.  
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After a talk

“What did you make of the methodology they used?”  

When talking about their career  

“What made you move into that area?”  

When talking about their research  

“What’s been your most surprising finding so far?”

Generally

“Is there a talk you’re looking forward to?”  

Remember the “liking gap”  

We often walk away from a conversation thinking “Why did I say that?” But research shows that people consistently underestimate how much someone enjoyed talking to them (Boothby et al., 2018).
 

Take a few deep breaths, remember that everyone gets nervous, and try to enjoy creating new connections. You are probably liked much more than you realise.

Don’t be intimidated

Everyone in the room started somewhere and everyone gets nervous. So don’t be shy in approaching anyone. Psychologists and other relationship researchers are a friendly and inquisitive bunch. People will want to hear about you and your research, so be ready with a clear and quick “elevator pitch” about your research – what question it addresses, why it’s interesting, and why it’s important.  

Take every opportunity

The small breaks in-between talks, like coffee areas, lunch queues, or poster sessions are a great place to start conversations. A simple opener – “What did you think of that talk?” – can open up the opportunity to a great conversation.  

Follow up  

Don’t forget to exchange contact details so that you can follow up with your new conference buddy. A short email referring to something specific that you talked about reminds them that you cared about what they had to say and is much better than a generic “Nice to meet you.” If you live locally, suggest a quick catch up, a coffee or lunch. Polish those skills in a more casual setting.
 

Networking can feel intimidating, forced, and downright exhausting, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s not about being the most confident person in the room – it’s just about being curious and consistent.
 

And finally  – relax and be yourself.

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